Stoops should be next Spartan coach

(11/21/02)--It's time to break away from the past and make a clean start. It's time to bring someone into the mix with a coaching pedigree of success, with discipline and with a no-nonsense committment to winning. It's time to bring someone into the fold who is defensive-minded (offense scores points, but DEFENSE wins championships). It's time to pay out the moola to bring in someone with a top-notch reputation. It's time to bring in a young candidate with a desire to say awhile. And, it's time to have a new coach who has NO TIES to Michigan State. That someone should be Mike Stoops at Oklahoma.

Look at the coaches over the past 20 years. George Perles, Nick Saban (who was an assistant under Perles), Bobby Williams (who was an assistant under Perles), and now Mo Watts (an assistant under Perles). Before these coaches were Muddy Waters, Darrel Rogers and Denny Stolz. It's time we get a coach with NO ties to MSU and start fresh... we have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Let's start with a new tradition, instead of bringing someone in with ties to all this mediocrity. Pat Shurmur may be a good coach with the NFL's Eagles, but the ES hesitates to pick an NFL coach with ties to Perles when there are other more qualified coaches out there.

Mike Stoops, Urban Meyer, Randy Shannon and Walt Harris all would be good coaches for Michigan State. The ES nocks Harris out because he's over 50. Meyer is a disciplinarian who has turned the program around at Bowling Green... however, his resume is short and he's only been at BGSU for three years. Shannon at Miami-Florida has built a tenacious defense and is a sensational recruiter for the 'Canes. He'd be a great fit for MSU. Stoops, however, seems to have the fire, the tenacity, the discipline, the coaching pedigree and the defensive genius to be the best fit for MSU. He helped turn around the Kansas State program with a solid defense... KSU was the WORST program in NCAA football history (the lowest overall winning percentage over its existence) until Stoops and Bill Snyder came to town (I said Bruce earlier, but I was in err. Bruce, Bill, Bob, whatever). Then, he joined his brother at Oklahoma and has turned that defense into the best in the nation for three years running. It also helps that he is a solid, tireless recruiter.

Stoops longs for a top-flight job, and has stated his strong interest in the MSU job. He wants to coach in the Big Ten. Let's give him his chance, and turn the Spartans into a winner. Ron Mason... HIRE MIKE STOOPS!

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Sloth speaks out on coaching vacancy

(11/18/02)--The Sloth is truly honored to be mentioned in the same breath as such
coaching greats as Mike Stoops, Marvin Lewis, and the others on the short list for the unfortunate head coaching vacancy at Michigan State
University, the greatest school in the land. Like everybody else, the Sloth wants
only what is best for Spartan football, which, as we all know, is the only football worth playing or watching. Spartan football means tradition. It means smash mouth blocking, tackling, hitting and running. It means
walking on to the gridiron, looking the guy across the line from you straight in the
face, and letting him know that you're not only going to kick his ass, you are also going to steal his lunch money, his car keys, take his woman and then call his parents to tell them all about it. And, above all, it means
winning the right way, by making each young man who walks into the Duffy Daugherty Building better for the experience, by making damn sure that that young man leaves our great school with a degree, a hangover, at least one trip to Olin Health Center for "antibiotics", and an undeniable understanding of what it means to be a Spartan.

If fortunate enough to get the gig, the Sloth promises no more wimpy press confabs at some crappy sports bar in a bullshit strip mall. Instead, all press confabs and public crucifixions will be held alternating weeks at
Crunchy's and the Peanut Barrel, the two hallowed places that best represent what being a Spartan is all about. The first bucket or pitcher of swill, as the case may be, will be courtesy of the Sloth. The press corps will then be cordially invited to a post-confab get-together at Omar's. It is my hope
and full expectation that the Board of Trustees will pick up the tab for the
first round of table dances.

Beyond this statement, the Sloth has no comment.

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Watts’ miracle; BCS picture; Coaching carousel

(11/11/02)--Give Mo Watts some credit. The ES has been one of the biggest critics of Mo Watts throughout his tenure at Michigan State because of Watts’ apathetic and vanilla play-calling. Noone gave Watts a chance to beat Indiana: more than 90% of 1,100 votes on the ES site alone stated Watts wouldn’t be able to get the Spartans to beat Indiana…. we were all wrong! Watts did what Bobby Williams’ couldn’t do this year – inspire a psyche-hurting football team to play hard. It was good fortune that lowly Indiana was on the other end of the ugly stick, and the Hoosiers took the beating from a frustrated Spartan football team. Beyond that, reverses to Charles Rogers, roll outs with Dowdell, consistent use out of David Richard and Jaren Hayes, inspired play up front on both sides of the ball, and creating three turnovers – it all shows what a team with talent can do if inspired to play well. Unfortunately, it took five blowouts and the firing of our previous coach to get this team to play hard. Regardless, the ES tips his hat to Watts. Congrats, Mo, you did it, and returned some form of pride to this football team.

Now, a tough match-up against Purdue this week – a Boilermaker team that should have defeated #2-ranked Ohio State last Saturday. Two hurting teams that desperately need a win will face off in Spartan stadium. Stay tuned.

That being said, the BCS picture is getting muddier behind Miami and Ohio State. If the Canes and Buckeyes win out, they control their own destiny. But both have potential pitfalls looming, with the Canes facing #21 Pittsburgh and #13 Virginia Tech, and the Buckeyes still having to face #10 Michigan in their annual showdown. If any one of those teams fall, the critics will be out in force, because six other squads with only one loss each have legitimate claims to play in the BCS title game: Texas (9-1), Washington State (9-1), Iowa (10-1), Oklahoma (8-1), Georgia (9-1), Notre Dame (9-1). The ES sees an either four or eight team playoff in the near future, with a revolving bowl for the national title game (which already occurs), after this BCS joke is through in 2005… Divisions I-AA, II and III already have a playoff system, why not D-IA? It will happen, folks.

Hey, vote over on the left hand side in the ES’ informal poll of who should be the next MSU coach. You can read bios of the new coaches by linking here. The ES has three top picks: Mike Stoops at Oklahoma, Urban Meyer at Bowling Green and Randy Shannon at Miami-Florida. All three would be sensational and strict disciplinarians as the next Spartan coach. And, Bobby Williams recruited some decent talent, so the cupboard won’t be bare. Conventional wisdom currently has Mike Stoops as the early favorite in the race… let me know your thoughts and vote!

Mason pulls the plug... can we snag Stoops or Meyer?

(11/4/02)--Ron Mason made the correct call to fire Bobby Williams. Although this was something many of us alumni, season ticket holders, and Spartan faithful had been clamoring for over the past several weeks, BW made it much easier with his recent comments and the out-of-control conduct of his football program on and off the field. The 49-3 loss at Michigan -- the worst MSU loss in 55 years -- a string of four blowouts, and a seemingly endless stream of rumors and off-the-field misdemeanors doomed Williams. But, BW hung himself with his comments that "I don't know" if he lost the team. It's a coach's job to know the attitude, effectiveness and loyalty of his team... without that, you have nothing. And, so, now MSU will settle with Morris Watts through the end of a wasted season. With Mason making the call, this almost certainly eggs the face of trustee Joel Ferguson, who stood adamantly behind Williams despite the poor performances on and off the gridiron. But, now we can start from a clean slate next season.

I wish the Williams' family all the best. He was the right man at the right time to lead the helm when Saban abruptly left before the 2000 New Years' Day showdown against Florida. However, it probably should have been only on a temporary basis until a full, long-term search had been accomplished. Alas, hindsight is 20/20. Thanks for your service, BW. You've got a great heart and a great family, and we Spartans wish you all the best. Now its time to move on.

Link here to the list of possible coaches.

Go STATE! Beat the Hoosiers!

FIRE BOBBY WILLIAMS

(11/3/02)--Whatever inkling of support I may have had left for Bobby Williams vanished in a cloud of blue&gold dust as the Wolverines pulverised MSU in the worst Spartan defeat I have ever seen. IT'S TIME TO FIRE BOBBY WILLIAMS. After the game, Bobby Williams himself stated: "we were totally embarassed... This is probably the lowest I've been... I'm very hurt..." When asked if he'd lost the team, BW responded: "I don't know." Don't know? Isn't it your job to know? The players even said that "some guys are giving up out there." The players have lost all confidence in BW, and the staff has lost all ability to coach this team. The season is lost.

I'm sorry, but BW has managed to do what seven Spartan coaches before him couldn't do, over a total of 55 years: get pounded by more than 40 points. And, to our arch-rival, Michigan. Embarassing, humiliating. BW MUST GO!!!!! I am embarassed to be a Spartan with him as coach!

For all those BW backers, and the proof follows below, let me tell you that BW's record over his first three years are THE WORST of any current Big Ten coach during their first three years... both overall and in the Big Ten. And, at least the other coaches had teams and records that were IMPROVING... Bobby Williams' is getting worse... this Spartan team is currently on track to be the SECOND WORST in the history of all MSU teams in the Big Ten, with Duffy's 1958 team the worst at 0-5-1.

Let's look at the Big Ten records of all the other coaches after three years, after five years, their biggest accomplishment, and this year's record.

Illinois: Ron Turner. (0-8, 2-6, 4-4) 6-18 after three years, 15-25 after five years. In his fourth year, Illinois won the Big Ten title, had a Sugar Bowl appearance, and was 10-2/7-1. Currently 2-3.

Indiana: Gerry DiNardo. new coach is 3-6/1-4 in his first year, just like BW. Currently 1-4.

Iowa: Kirk Ferentz. (0-8, 3-5, 4-4) 7-17 after three years, 13-17 in his fourth year. Iowa is headed for a BCS berth and possible Big Ten title this year in Ferentz' fourth year. Currently 6-0.

Michigan: Lloyd Carr. (5-3, 5-3, 8-0) 18-6 after three years, 31-9 after five years. Carr won the national title in his fourth year. Currently 4-1.

MSU: BW. (1-6, 3-5, 1-4) 6-15 in his third year. The Spartans are crumbling and getting worse. Currently 1-4.

Minnesota: Glen Mason (1-7, 2-6, 5-3) 8-16 after three years, 14-26 after five years. Mason took the Gophers to the Sun Bowl in his third year with an 8-4/5-3 record. Currently 3-2.

Northwestern: Randy Walker (1-7, 6-2, 2-6) 9-15 after three years, 10-20 in his fourth year. If he wasn't at NW, Walker would be in trouble with a struggle this year. However, Walker posted an 8-4/6-2 record his second year and a birth in the Sun Bowl. Currently 1-5.

Ohio State: Jim Tressel (5-3, 5-0) 10-3 in his second year. In just his second year, Tressel has Ohio State in the national title hunt with a perfect 10-0 overall mark and a #3 national rating.

Penn State: Joe Pa (6-2, 8-0, 5-3) 19-5 after three years. In his second year in Big Ten play, JoePa went undefeated and won a national title (in the ES' eyes).

Purdue: Joe Tiller (6-2, 6-2, 4-4) 16-8 after three years. In his fourth year, Tiller took Purdue to the Rose Bowl with an 8-4/6-2 mark.

Wisconsin: Barry Alvarez (0-8, 2-6, 3-5) 5-19. Inheriting a program whose coaching staff was killed in a plane crash, it took time to start from scratch, but Alvarez took the Badgers to the Rose Bowl in his fourth year with a 10-1-1/6-1-1 mark.

There you have it folks. Every Big Ten coach has improved by his third year except Randy Walker and BW. Walker is at Northwestern in Chicago, where the Wildcats aren't even on the map. He is secure if he even wins three games a year for the 'Cats. All the coaches above had significant bowl wins or accomplishments by their fourth year, but each squad also improved dramatically by their third year.

The Spartans are getting much, much worse. No Spartan program in Big Ten play has ever been outscored by as many points over a span of five games. EVER. There is no hope on the horizon... how can BW manage to recruit players that want to go out and get their asses kicked? BW didn't inherit a program of nobodys (like when Saban inherited the Spartans from Perles). We had SOME talent. All the other coaches have managed to get the job done.... What, is BW special? If so, how?

Even Chris Spielman said, "if there are players quitting on this team, get some guys from the science building, put a helmet on them and get them to play." He's right. It's all attitude. BW does not know how to sell his program to his players to get them to buy in to a winning attitude. The team is unprepared, and has no will to win. They give up so easy. If they quit during the game, SIT THEM ON THE BENCH AND PUT SOMEONE IN WHO WILL PLAY HARD!!! But, BW is so loyal, he doesn't know how to do it. He's too nice of a guy, and nice guys finish last.

We won't even get into the X's and O's. It doesn't matter at this point. The problems are well beyond the drawing board.

BW takes the responsibility for this ship. It has sunk. The captain should go down with the ship. It's time. Let's start over. FIRE BOBBY WILLIAMS.

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Swirling out of control

(10/30/02)--Much of the rumors swirling around internet chat rooms are just that -- rumors -- which cannot be corroborated. The ES, yes me myself, even had an article of which I also discussed some of these rumors... with seemingly credible sources. But, until those involved do the talking, we may never know what really is going on. However, it may very well have been that the Smoker suspension and the loss of Cooper to a failed drug test was the extent of the problem... with the rumors blowing things out of proportion. Who knows?

This all doesn't change the fact that BW's program is swirling out of control. He has no discipline and the team is not reacting with pride or posture. They aren't responding on the field with effort... its as if the players haven't a care in the world. They don't play with heart. And, BW still doesn't put Charles Rogers back on kick returns.

BW's record his first three years at MSU are abysmal compared to that of his peers during their first three years... especially in Big 10 play. He may have not had a Top-10 team to work with when he came on board, but he also didn't come on board with a team on probation or with zero talent. If Kirk Ferentz can do it at Iowa in three years, if Joe Tiller can do it at Purdue in two years, if Barry Alvarez can do it at Wisconsin in three years, if Joe Tedford and Ty Willingham can do it at Cal and Notre Dame in their first year, why does BW need five years to get there? Sorry, I'm not buying it or your oceanfront property in Arizona. He can't get it done. We're getting worse, not better folks. If you think otherwise, you're dreaming.

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Bag it for Saturday

(10/22/02)--Bag it for Saturday
I’m bringing a paper bag to the Spartan game on Saturday, and I’m hoping all Spartan supporters will do the same. Cut out two eye holes so you can see, and a mouth hole so you can scream. Then, write “SPARTAN SHAME” over the top, fit it snugly around your head, and you’ll be prepped for this weekend. Then again, maybe you don’t need the eye holes… its not fun, but its better to hear a dying animal squeal than to watch it squirm.

Yes, it’s official. We suck. Michigan State’s football team, preseason ranked #17 by the Associated Press, is now the laughing stock of the college gridiron world. It’s not that they can’t win – it’s that they aren’t competitive. Who is to blame? There’s plenty to go around. Morris Watts (a.k.a. Coach Vanilla) is the top culprit. Watts has squandered some of the best offensive talent ever to set foot in the land of Green and White. His offensive game plan (yes, Watts only has ONE plan per season) wreaks of predictability and futility. Few adjustments are ever made to react to the opposition defense. Worse yet, he has instilled no sense of urgency or pride into the Spartan offense. The players DON’T WANT IT ENOUGH as a team. Reality is that Watts has relied solely on the Spartans’ talent -- instead of doing his job – to keep him employed until retirement. Methinks retirement may come at the end of the year.

Head coach Bobby Williams also takes much of the blame. He’s the guy in charge, and he’s the captain of a sinking ship. He needs to get these sailors to toughen up and execute… and to stop treading water. But, BW doesn’t have any answers. All season long, BW has been visibly puzzled: don’t you think the players’ psyche imitates that of its head coach? You can see it in the players’ eyes on the sidelines, and in their execution on the field. Rarely under BW have we seen the team fired up, yelling at each other to get excited, to remain focused, to stop screwing up. The Spartan players don’t vocalize their anger or desire —not to the extent of other Spartan teams of yore. It’s the blind leading the blind and no one is there to snap them out of it. Spartan players are “ho-humming” their way through a losing season of mistakes, lack of leadership and bad coaching.

This is the most disappointing year of Spartan football in my life (dating back to 1968). But, there’s a bright side. A change is in the air – I can smell it. It might not be until 2003, but LOSING can only last so long. And LOSING doesn’t sell season tickets, luxury suites and stadium expansion. Michigan State football isn’t getting any better; it’s getting worse. Actually it’s pathetic. But, until Mr. Mason (or Mr. McPherson) makes a change, bring a bag to the game. It’ll keep the chill off your skull, and it’ll demonstrate disgust – the disgust we ticket holders and alumni have for a waste of a season. Good thing we had a dream schedule and a new $2 million grass field this year, eh? Can’t wait till 2003.

We suck

(10/21/02)--It's official. MSU sucks and the coaching staff doesn't know what to do. The ES received numerous furious emails last week asking what to do about the coaching... "ES, take the lead. What do we do? We gotta get rid of Bobby now!" or "Are you going to print up FIRE BOBBY signs."

My response was roughly the same to all those who wrote in... I'm going to wait until after the Minnesota game to hold judgement, but bring a bag for your head.

It's official now. Bring a bag to put over your head for the rest of the season. It's embarassing and humiliating to be a Spartan right now. Down right pathetic performance -- and play calling is the least of the concerns. It's all attitude at this point, and the Spartans have the mentality of a loser... something that BW obviously doesn't know how to shake.

As I was leaving the field, shouting at the coaching staff, someone a few seats down said... "don't worry, they'll be back." I said: "You've got to be kidding me." Has he seen any of the games this year, not to mention the last two games? BW has lost all control over this team. They are through. Put this season in the bag and drop it in the trash can. What a waste of a year. At least we know that there WILL be major changes of some sort at the end of the year, and that BW has no more than through the 2003 season to show that he belongs as a coach. My prediction? He doesn't know how to coach, so his days are numbered. Start the timer. See ya, Bobby, it's been nice knowing ya.

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BW fails to prepare team to play... again

(10/13/02)--The ES will elaborate more on this after he simmers down. In the meantime, give the coaching staff a shovel and help them dig. They are about to take a deep-six holiday and they're taking the Spartan players with them.

MSU was embarassed at Iowa. The lost in every faze of the game and gave up scores to Iowa in every facet of the game: offense, defense and special teams. No tricks offensively, lack of ingenuity in finding new & exciting ways to get the ball to Rogers, Rogers not back on kick returns, Smoker sleep walking, defense giving up big plays, no consistent pass rush, giving up kick returns for TDs, five turnovers, no play-makers causing turnovers on defense, mistakes, mistakes, mistakes.

What's worse is that, once again, the Spartans "didn't show up." How many times will we go through this? Northwestern 2000, Penn State 2000, Indiana 2001, Minnesota 2001, Cal 2002, Iowa 2002. These are all games that MSU got an ass-whooping, and was unprepared for under BW. I'm not saying win the games, folks... I'm saying, just be competitive for crissakes, and not be embarassed. You don't see Purdue, Michigan, Ohio State or Wisconsin get whitewashed inconsistently -- they are consistently prepared. These teams are consistently competitive. Why not State?

There are no more excuses. A.D. Ron Mason and trustee Joel Ferguson are incompetent if they feel that BW should remain our coach if we have a losing season, "no matter what." Listen, the only reason why MSU has won the three games is because of pure talent against far inferior opponents (EMU, Rice, N'wstern). When it comes to decent competition, we don't have a chance (Cal, ND, Iowa).

With all due respect, coach Williams doesn't have a clue. The players themselves, when asked why MSU continues to struggle on the road in the Big Ten say "I don't know." Come up with all the reasons you want, but the responsibility falls at the top -- BW does NOT know how to prepare this team.

I hate to say it, but you can see that BW was not qualified to be a head coach, the way he reacts with that shit-eating grimace after every Spartan mistake. He has never been a head coach before MSU, and it is showing. He fails to put together a competitive game plan -- even with two weeks to work on it. Sure, the team needs to execute; but, sorry folks, getting whipped falls at the feet of the head coach. Can he correct the mistakes and put MSU back on the winning track? We sure would hope, but the problem is HE CAN'T. He doesn't know how to win consistently.

BW is now trying to save his job. Quote on the top of LSJ: "This game doesn't determine the rest of the season... If this were late in the season it might. But this game won't determine where we are." Sounds like a desperate man. Listen, you might win a few more, but you sure won't win them all, BW. YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO WIN (or be competitive) CONSISTENTLY. State may even beat Michigan. But, we'll lose to Indiana, Minnesota, Wisconsin just the same. There is no rhyme or reason to it.

Beano Cook, the boys at ESPN, Sporting News, Sports Illustrated, all have called out BW and the Spartans. Cook says "MSU has the talent but they don't have the brain trust." What will it take for die-hard BW backers to get it?

If you want to see MSU as a consistent 7-6/6-6/5-7 team, keep BW. If you don't want to see our talent wasted, let's start from scratch... AGAIN. There are plenty of other coaches out there that have ability and won't waste our talent. We already lost out on Joe Tiller and Ty Willingham. Let's take a look at the list of candidates and hire a new coach...before it is too late.

Today, I'm embarassed to be a Spartan. Thanks, Bobby.

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Mid-season whining

(10/9/02)--OK. MSU is 3-2 and in trouble of digging itself a hole it can't get out of. Sure, the Spartans are 1-0 in the conference, but they have yet to display the "team" concept that we see of champions, and they haven't yet shown the "fighiting spirit" or "smash mouth" football of Spartan teams of yesteryear. Alas, the Spartans travel to take on the flock from Iowa and have a chance to redeem themselves. Timing could not be more appropriate. MSU has had two weeks to prepare. With all injuries healed and with an extra week of Iowa footage, MSU should be prepared and ready for the hostile environment in Iowa City. Sure, Michigan State has been a disappointment, but let us look at things under the microscope.

1. Losses to Cal and Notre Dame. The Irish are now undefeated and ranked #8 in both polls. The Irish are probably overrated, but they keep winning -- so they deserve to be ranked where they are. They have won on special teams and strong defense... watch them to run out of gas this week against a good Pittsburgh team and especially next week against a great Air Force squad. Cal just defeated Washington in Seattle for the first time in 23 years, and is an overacheiving bunch. Both teams are better than anyone thought at the beginning of the year. Yes, the Spartans should have won both games, but the fact that MSU lost those games is not as big of a knock as we might think

2. Struggles against Northwestern and Rice. There's no excuse for Rice. But, #5-ranked Ohio State also struggled against Northwestern last week. You can argue MSU played Northwestern stronger than the Buckeyes did. Northwestern's funky offense gives teams fits, but the good teams always find away to win. Is MSU good? Yes. Are they great? No. But, the Spartan talent should prevail against inferior teams, provided the talent has a game plan to work from -- MSU was NOT given that blueprint from the coaching staff against Cal, but the talent has bailed out the coaching staff the remainder of the year.

3. Opening up the offense. For the first time this year, against Northwestern, the Spartans showed a few fake reverses out of Mo Watts' playbook. Three times (twice with Richard, once with Moss), the Spartans handed the ball off after faking either an inside or an outside reverse. And, the end around to Jaren Hayes was a nice little wrinkle. They all didn't accumulate much yardage, but it helps keep defenses honest. Beyond that, it forces future opponents to expect some type of reverse and take time out of their practices to prepare for something else instead of spending more time on what they want to do. It's unfortunate we had to wait until the fifth game of the season to open up the playbook a bit more; in my conversation with WKAR's Earle Robinson this week, he told the ES that "I think the Spartans are saving it all for the Michigan game." Then, we both shook our heads. Too bad we don't use our bag of tricks more often... especially to get the ball to Charles Rogers more. We shall see what we've got up our sleeves for the Iowa game.

4. Offensive line woes. This is the biggest disappointment from MSU so far this season. Earle Robinson told the ES that in a conversation he had with Mo Watts last week, the much maligned coach stated: "the offensive line is the biggest disappointment. They don't get fired up and don't have that aggressive, smash-mouth mentality of past Spartan lines." So true, and the ES agrees that this has hampered what the Spartans can accomplish on offense. Sure, the offensive line returned intact this year, but it is also overrated. TJ Duckett was a hoss and made the line look that much better. The O-linemen are experienced, but they have just average talent. Don't expect too much out of this squad. But is average enough to win with the other talent around and with a good game plan from the coaches? The ES says, emphatically, YES!!!!

5. Dawan Moss. The ES praises Bobby Williams for loyalty to his players. But, BW, you need to wake up and smell the coffee. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that Moss is a step slower than Richard and Hayes. Let Moss do what he does best -- fullback. He can block, get the occasional run up the middle, and swing out of the backfield for a release. But, Richard needs more reps... he is faster, shiftier (east-west running), and has better vision to hit the holes. BW's statement at Trippers on Sept. 25 that "we're gonna play Dawan Moss because I said so" is completely ambivalent to what works and is frustrating. Loyalty is nice, but it doesn't mean you have to give him the ball. Start Moss at fullback where he belongs. WAKE UP!

6. Defensive woes. The defensive line continues to struggle, making only nine sacks all year long. There has been better pressure against Notre Dame and Northwestern, but no where near enough to help out our defensive backs. The rushing defense has been pushed around, giving up 216 yards to Rice, 135 to Cal, 127 to Notre Dame, and 212 to Northwestern. Monquiz Wedlow may be fast (too fast, he gets out of position), but he is too small. He was pushed around by Northwestern. We shall see how Chris Smith and Seth Mitchell help on the defensive end to try and stop the run. Iowa has a great, smash-mouth running game. The Spartan defensive backs have played well all year, with the exception of the late ND touchdown in the fourth quarter (but they played well for the other 58 minutes!). If the Spartans hold Iowa to under 150 yards rushing, they've got a chance.

7. Special team improvements. No blocked kicks this year. Rayner is 7-9, including 3-4 from over 40 yards and a 53-yarder vs. NW. Jason Daily has been solid as a punter -- his kicking style is wierd but effective; six punts inside the 20 and his long punts seem to roll forever. We've had one kick return for a TD (by Cal) and have returned one ourselves (vs. Northwestern). Much, much better improvement here than expected. This is probably the biggest surprise of the year.

8. Jeff Smoker on pot? Smoker needs to wake up from his fog, shake it off, get fired up and be consistent. He had some fantastic throws against Northwestern (the TD to Jason Randall down the middle comes to mind), but he also made two poor throws to Charles Rogers vs. Northwestern that resulted in INTs. Inconsistent. He needs to play better and make better decisions on his passes.

9. Charles Rogers for the Heisman. The Sporting News has him fifth in the Heisman race... it states"He's the best player in the country, but the way the Spartans are headed he won't have a chance." TSN, Sports Illustrated and ESPN have all praised him as the best player in the nation. If State can put it together and go 5-2 the remainder of the way -- that's an 8-4 season, folks -- he has a shot. His numbers are ridiculously impressive: 32 catches, 687 yards, 21.5 yards per catch, 137.4 yards per game, and 7 TDs. The bookies have him at 2-1 with Iowa State's Seneca Wallace behind Miami's Ken Dorsey. Stay tuned.

10. Third Down woes. MSU was 1-for-10 on third downs vs. Northwestern. MSU was 4-for-14 on third downs vs. Notre Dame. That's 5-for-24 or 21% in the past two games. If State had converted two of its third downs instead of throwing INTs and four others instead of kicking FGs, it could have blown Northwestern out of the water. And, MSU sleep-walked through the first half vs. Notre Dame. MSU has to convert on 40% of its third downs to succeed. Or, it will fail. That simple.

It all comes down to coaching. BW takes the fall if the Spartans fall this year. As Beano Cook -- yes, that terrible fat man, Beano -- stated: "MSU has the talent, but they don't have the brain trust." All the ESPN Game Day guys were laughing at Mark May when he picked MSU to win the Big Ten: "they always screw it up," said Kirk Herbstreit. The Sporting News ranked the Spartan coaching staff as 10th best in the Big Ten entering the year. To all the BW and Mo Watts supporters out there, I just have one question: "if BW and Mo Watts are so great, why does nearly every press and pundit in the nation mock MSU's coaching?" Yes, the team has not executed well this year, but they also have not been given the best plays to execute. The offense is a vanilla offense; there is nothing special, no spice. Charles Rogers is not being used effectively -- he is getting 10 touches a game when he should be getting 20 (read: kick, punt returns, reverses, screens, etc.). Dawan Moss as the feature back instead of David Richard? Ten first half points combined vs. Rice, Cal and Notre Dame? No fire in the offensive line's belly? Inconsistent/lack of a pass rush? Through five games, these problems have not been solved. What does it take? When will the coaching staff wake up?

All this being said, I'm going to give the coaching staff some of the benefit of the doubt this week in Iowa. With two weeks to prepare and the pundits all bashing the Spartans, maybe we'll open up our bag of tricks and get the offense to finally explode--maybe. Purdue did something right last week, ahead 28-24 late in the game at Iowa. Iowa has a great run-defense but a porous pass defense. That falls right into our hands. Maybe we'll throw the ball 40 times this week. Watch Iowa blitz like crazy against an average Spartan o-line. I'm betting on a last second drive and field goal from Dave Rayner. Make it MSU 26, Iowa 25.

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MSU From 35,000 feet

Photos, 9/1, courtesy of John Neyer
click on photos to enlarge

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Bring Back Big George Perles As Coach

(Sloth chimes in here on the best coach MSU has had in 30 years... is he still available?)

(10/1/02)--Well, here we are 4 games into the season and the Bobby W boo-birds are at it again. Which are you, a BW defender or a BW hater? It seems that those are the only 2 kinds of Big Green Mutha supporters out there these days. What do I say? Bring back Coach Perles, the last Big Green coach to actually deliver a Big Ten Championship and a Rose Bowl victory.

I'm not sure what the fuss is all about. BW has proven himself to be a middle of the pack recruiter, which was pretty clear when he was an assistant. He'll compete hard against UM for the best talent in Michigan, and then round it out with top 20 or 25 talent from the midwest and beyond. The problem is that he doesn't have a clue what to do with the talent when it gets here. As the head coach he's just like a CEO, and you don't get to be CEO just b/c you were a regional sales exec. He flat out doesn't know how to demand the best from his assistant coaches, so how is he supposed to know how to get the best from his players?

Let's face it, BW has made some real gaffes so far this year:

1. Moving Labinjo inside was foolish, since none of our cornerbacks are able to play the run and we lack any other playmakers on D. Anybody else notice Nelson or Suggs consistently getting pancaked by opposing wide receivers on sweeps and QB bootlegs?

2. Keeping Moss at TB is just plain blind loyalty. You can commend BW for sticking with his senior, but it was pretty obvious after the first 20 plays of the season that Moss wasn't the man.

3. It was pretty clear last year that Kavanaght was a zero at WR. He's even worse at returning punts. You can't blame BW for the injury to Shabbaj, but why not take better advantage of Knott, who is State's only other go-to-guy in the passing game? One great WR and a solid TE to go with him should be more than enough to move the ball, since most teams don't have EITHER.

4. Have we seen a screen pass yet this year? Coming out of the backfield in the passing game is Moss' real strength, so why haven't we used it? Speaking of which, have we seen even ONE misdirection play yet this year, since it seems like every team is running that misdirection sweep or QB bootleg on us?

5. Has State come out fired up for a single game yet this year? Isn't a college coach's number one job to fire up the troops?

This was supposed to have been a great year for the Spartoons. Sure, you can keep kidding yourself about whether or not the Green can still win the Big Ten, but the truth is that the Big Ten title is irrelevant in these BCS days. Jeez, Joe Pa is taking the same PSU team that was 5-6 last year and spanking a solid Nebraska team. Even Iowa and Minnesota have looked much improved over last year. How is it that State is the ONLY team in the country that has failed to improve over last year, even though it returned nearly all of its starters from last season?

Remember what Coach Perles did with not even half the talent BW has? Hell, Ol’ George won the Rose Bowl with one RB and one WR on offense. Bobby McAllister was a great athlete and a nice kid, but he was hardly a “great” QB. Sure, we had a solid D, but that was mostly scheme, not talent. Besides Percy Snow, can anybody even name a player on that D? Dean Altobelli, maybe? Or John something or other? In other words, we had 2 playmakers on that Rose Bowl team. Which is why Lo White carried the ball 50 times a game, and, when Lo wasn’t running, we were throwing the ball to Spiderman “They Used to call Me Andre” Rison.

Now look at your 2002 Spartan team. Despite what the ES and others are saying, Smoker is a top 10 QB in NCAA football. Sure, he locks on Rogers, but wouldn’t you? I mean, not even Mo Watts believes in Kavanaght or Lovett, so why should Smoker? Not to mention that Watts doesn’t call any real plays for Knott, who is State’s only other legitimate threat out of the passing game. After Smoker, you of course have Rogers, and then Knott. Rogers gets all the press, but Knott has definitely shown that he has NFL hands and can run NFL routes. Then go to RB, where Richard has proven to be solid, plus you have Hayes and his speed and sheer determination. In other words, you have, with Smoker, Rogers, Knott and Richard/Hayes, top caliber playmakers at each of the skill positions on offense. By contrast, Eastern Michigan had one (the white WR), Rice had one (the second QB), Cal had none (go figure), and ND had one (Battle). So why are we getting outscored every game?

And enough of this crap about Smoker being a party-dawg. I remember Rison jumping out of a 2nd story balcony in Cedar Village to beat down some poor schmuck in the parking lot, and that was on a football weekend. I spent a Saturday nite after a home game doing boat races with Josh Butland at the Hoonah House, and Josh could barely stand by midnite. Not to mention seeing Scotty Skiles close down Dooley’s and then wake up to drop 40 pts and 17 dimes the next afternoon at Jenison, at a NOON GAME. College football players are still college kids, and we shouldn’t expect any different. If Smoker wants to enjoy a cold one (or anything else) from time to time, who could blame him? Lord knows I wouldn't have made it through State undergrad without $1 pitchers on Monday, $.35 drafts on Wednesday, Thursday pool at Dooley’s, and the blind pigs of your choice on Friday and Saturday. Not to mention $1 Fridays at Rick’s, or $1 Rolling Rocks on Sundays. If Rogers doesn't want to block on every running play, who cares? Would you? But BW gets paid good scratch, and he should deliver or start priming his resume. With 8 home games and a soft schedule, anything short of 10-2 is just not delivering the goods.

That is, IF you want your alma mater to be a player in NCAA football. Frankly, I'd be content if they brought Coach Perles back and ensured my expectations of 6-5 seasons every year, so that I could simply sit back, grab a cold one and enjoy some fall Saturdays in glorious EL, without the burden of actually expecting anything other than mediocrity and "wait 'til next year" out of State football. Give me a Rose Bowl every ten years or so, and I’ll be happy.

And, no matter how much you want to believe in BW, every Spartan who has any experience with the Big Green knows this: Coach Perles would be 4-0 right now, no question, no ifs, ands or buts. And this is why:

a. 35-40 carries a game out of Richard/Hayes. Hell, even Perles’ worst teams (the ones that lost to CMU) were able to run the damn ball.

b. 12-15 passes to Rogers, including at least 3 deep balls, meaning longer than 40 yards. You figure 6-8 completions in the 15 to 25 yard range, and at least 1 completion in the 40-plus range. Anything else would be gravy.

c. 4-6 passes to Knott, including at least one 20-25 yard pass down the middle on a tight end post. Count on 3 completions in the 5 to 15 yard range, and that one down the middle.

d. 2-4 passes to Kavanaght/Lovett. Who cares if these get completed, they’re just supposed to keep the D honest.

e. 1 or 2 quick-hitters or draws to Moss (at FB). Again, keeping the D honest.

f. 2 or 3 screen passes, again probably to Moss out of the backfield (remember Stevie Greene or Montgomery)? Again, these are intended to keep the linemen honest, and make them think twice before bum-rushing Smoker on every 3rd down.

I figure that’s good for 150-200 yds out of the running game, and 200-250 yds out of the passing game. 400 yds will win you most college football games. This is not rocket science. None of those plays are tough to execute, and they don’t need to be. What matters is NOT what play you call, but rather when and where you call it. A pitch sweep on the 1 yd line is just plain stupid. And even the pros know that if you don’t complete the pass on 1st down, a nice 3-4 yd running play puts you in a better position on 3rd down than another incomplete pass.

With Coach Perles, State is 4-0 right now, looking at a couple of sissies before a primetime match-up with UM. You can disagree with me over whether or not Coach Perles could have assembled the talent that State has this season (he couldn’t), but not over whether or not he would have won with this team. Not to mention that even the worst Perles teams were incredibly physical and menacing. Broderick Nelson wouldn’t even be allowed on the sidelines of a Perles-coached Spartan team, no matter how quick he might be. Demario Suggs would have long since been crushed in blocking drills in practice. And Ottney would still be running laps. Give me back George.

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Morris Watts indicted for predictability

(9/24/02)--Due to the continued offensive woes vs. ND and popular demand, I'm keeping this column up for another week. No reverses to Charles Rogers vs ND, no screen passes all year long, little use of tight ends, the continued use of slower-than-molasses Dawan Moss, another halftime deficit. The team was competitive, but it was the same offensive game plan vs. Cal. Mo Watts has got to go!

(09/17/02)--Accused: Morris Watts for predictability, failure to coach.

The facts, as listed in the following 9-count indictment:

Count 1 - Offense is regressing, not improving, each week. MSU's offense has gotten worse in every game so far this year. Against Eastern Michigan, State possessed the ball for 31:12, committed no turnovers, was not sacked, averaged 8.6 yards on 73 plays, amassed 625 total yards, accumulated 31 first downs, and scored 56 points. Against Rice, State possessed the ball for 27:37, committed no turnovers, was sacked four times, averaged 4.6 yards on 59 plays, amassed 271 total yards, accumulated 14 first downs, and scored 27 points. Against Cal, State possessed the ball for 28:15, committed five turnovers, was sacked three times, averaged 5.2 yards on 68 plays, amassed 352 total yards, accumulated 24 first downs, and scored 22 points.

Count 2 - Offense continues to get behind early, making it more difficult to use the running game as the second half rolls along. MSU was down 10-7 at the half to Rice and 25-0 at the half to Cal. Against Rice, State had 58 yards on 32 carries (1.8 average) and against Cal, State had 87 yards on 30 carries (2.9 average).

Count 3 - Predictability of offense on third down. Against Cal, MSU threw the ball on EVERY third down while Smoker was in the game. In the 1st quarter, MSU had three third downs: (Smoker-Knott, 5 yds; Smoker-Randall, 15 yds; Smoker-Rogers, inc). In the 2nd quarter, MSU had four third downs: (Smoker-Moss, 4 yds; Smoker-Rogers, inc, safety for penalty holding in endzone; Smoker-Lovett, 13 yds; Smoker-Rogers, inc, holding penalty declined). In the 3rd quarter, MSU had five third downs: (Smoker-Rogers, 8 yds; Smoker-Rogers, 15 yds; Smoker-Rogers, inc; Smoker-Rogers, inc; Smoker-Rogers, inc). With Smoker at QB in the 4th, he threw an incomplete to Rogers on third down and an incomplete to Brown on fourth down.

Count 4 - The stacked I-bone in the red zone DOES NOT WORK. It didn't work with George Perles as head coach, it didn't work under BW in 2000, it didn't work last year, it's not working this year. The pitch that Moss fumbled at the two yard-line in the first quarter vs. Cal was nonsense… why pitch it (remember TJ Duckett dropping the ball on a pitch sweep right vs. Michigan in 2000, after he had already lost five yards?)? Also, when you stack the players in as State does within the five yard line, it is not giving our players any room to run…. They keep tripping up without getting any head start at all… Why not spread out the offense and run it up the middle or off-tackle? Less traffic gives the backs better opportunities to put it in the end zone. It's not working the way it is designed right now.

Count 5 - Mo Watts' own admission that his play design, play calling and inability to teach the players how to perform isn't working. Lansing State Journal, September 17, 2002: "I think most of our problem right now is just execution and timing. Sometimes we're just not reading things. We're out of sync on our running game, that's the bottom line. We are going to restructure some things on our running game to help our kids out. We could blame it on too many people in the box but that's not the problem right now. It's hard to stand here and talk about this because I was here last year talking about the same darned thing. It is hard to find excuses why we can't do better. If there is an instant cure, we need an instant cure. It is truly a combination of things." IF IT WAS NOT WORKING LAST YEAR, WHY DO YOU CONTINUE TO DO IT, MO? The old adage, if it's not broke don't fix it does NOT apply here. It IS BROKE, so FIX IT!

Count 6 - Lack of ingenuity. All the plays you've seen this year out of the Spartans are the same plays from the Perles years. Nothing is new - its easy for defenses to look at our formations and get tipped off with our rollout passes, sweeps, or our crossing patterns. And, just as when Andre Rison was at Michigan State, once again the coaching staff fails to get the most out of its best player, Charles Rogers. Reverses are never in the game plan. Even if it doesn't work, running a reverse AT LEAST ONCE in every single game requires opposing teams to spend extra time stopping it. They have to respect reverses and Rogers' speed… not showing it means we ain't gonna use it. Why not have Rogers back returning punts? Kavanaght has shown he is brain-dead back there, making poor decisions and his inability to break the big return. As I recall, Michigan used Desmond Howard and Charles Woodson all over the place, and Notre Dame used Tim Brown on reverses, kick returns and as a wideout. Why not add some spice to the offense and cut Chuck loose? I just don't get it. MSU has a habit of not using its best players as much as possible. Look at the game tapes: Moss was much too slow vs. Cal - so why not put the speed burner Jaren Hayes in the game? Richard did more in five carries than Moss did for virtually the whole game… what took so long to figure that out?

Count 7 - Lack of focus and motivation. Michigan State's offensive line play seems to only focus on establishing the running game in the big games, and loses its in the games it should win. Again, MSU ran for just 87 yards on 30 carries (2.9 avg.) in its 46-22 loss to Cal. Last year, the Spartans ran for 60 yards on 33 carries (1.8 avg.) in a 24-14 loss at Purdue, ran for 110 yards on 30 carries (3.7 avg) in a 37-28 loss to Indiana, ran for just 121 yards on 37 carries (3.3 avg) in a 28-19 loss at Minnesota, and had just 111 yards on 42 carries (2.6 avg) in the 27-26 loss at Northwestern. In each of those games, the Spartans seemed to sleepwalk through it - a lack of motivation and preparedness. Hey guys, we can't play Michigan and Notre Dame every week.

Count 8 - The lack of instilling an attitude of winning. The national media is making a laughing stock out of Michigan State. Even the boys on ESPN Game Day laughed when Mark May picked the Spartans, with Kirk Herbstreit, Chris Fowler and Lee Corso both agreeing - "but the Spartans always screw it up." This is predictable and frustrating and speaks directly to ATTITUDE. If you know this is a problem heading into the season, why not address it?

Count 9 - History of moronic coaching - evidence provided by the Sloth.

1. screen pass from own end zone, resulting in INT and TD, v Notre Dame, 2000.
2. option play with white QB on opponent's 1 yard line, resulting in fumble and loss of possession, v Michigan, 2000.
3. failure to stick with game plan and utilize running game of TJ Duckett, entire 2001 season.
4. failure to play TJ Duckett, Charles Rogers AND Herb Haygood on a critical third down and four, v Michigan, 2001.
5. failure to take advantage of Charles Rogers in one-on-one coverage, v Rice, 2002, and v California, 2002.
6. pitch sweep on opponent's 2 yard line, resulting in fumble and loss of possession, v California, 2002. The worst part of this one is that he ran the same fucking play later in the same game in the same situation, which fortunately resulted in only no gain.
7. I'm sure if I dig deep I can even pull some shit from when he was the OC under Perles, such as re-inserting Dave Yarema back into the Iowa game in 1985 after Bobby MacAllister had led State back to 35-31 after entering the game when State was trailing 35-0. Yarema proceeded to throw an interception in Iowa's endzone, effectively ending the game.

Nine counts is good enough for starters. I'm sure MSU will help make the case that Mo Watts should be fired when they add more counts to the indictment after the Notre Dame game on Saturday. Even if the Spartans win, Mo should get the ax… what is he gonna do, put in a new playbook in five days? You'll see much of the same vs. Notre Dame this week, and I don't see execution solving all the problems. Is Bob Davie still for hire?

Mo Watts, please stand up to have your verdict read.

Verdict: guilty as charged on all nine counts.

Sentence: the firing squad.

You can already see Spartan fans dancing in the streets.

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I'M REALLY PISSED OFF!!!

(9/16/02)--The ES is so pissed off after the Spartan's implosion at the hands of Cal on Saturday, that he needs a few days to simmer down. Once again, the sad reality of an up-and-down Spartan history has hit the faithful right smack dab between the eyes. Bobby can suck up and accept responsibility for this one, but unfortunately it looks as if State just can't seem to get it right and put it all together. The loss goes down as the most embarassing since MSU dropped its 20-3 decision to Central Michigan near the end of the Perles era.

I don't see how the Spartans can win any game if they can't stop beating themselves. Morris Watts should be shot for not opoening up the playbook and tying the offense's hands. If Charles Rogers has one-on-one coverage, why run the ball? The only people we're fooling is ourselves. Why keep Moss in the ballgame when he's not fast enough to hit the holes? Where was Jaren Hayes? Why let Kavanaght return kicks if he is going to run away from them (how stupid was that!). Where is the defensive line... four sacks in three games, none vs. Cal? If they can't beat Cal, how can they beat Notre Dame? When will State win the games it is supposed to... or at least be competitive in them? How much longer will Smoker be in this stoner-laced funk? Why pitch it to Moss on the two yard line? Mo Watts, why DO YOU KEEP STACKING THE FORMATION INSIDE THE FIVE SO EVERYONE KNOWS IT WILL BE A RUN? Ottney -- talk is cheap, when are you guys on the O-line going to back it up... you suck!

Fire MORRIS WATTS for being so boring, predictible and inept!

That's just for starters... more to come. Right now, State doesn't have a chance vs. Notre Dame, even if they are a 2-pt favorite. I say ND 26, MSU 17.

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OL picks flowers, not fights

(9/9/02)--The Spartan offensive line looked like a pansy-job in its second game, getting planted left and right by the Rice Owls instead of doing the planting. All this jibberish early in the year that "this is the year" may be for naught if the Spartans go flower-picking any more.

In the first half, you'd have thunk MSU was playing the mighty Lou Holtz-era Irish, giving up long drive after long drive and struggling to stop the optional arsenal attack of Rice. While you were at it, you were having nightmares of Smoker looking simply average and thanking the lord that Owls' linebacker Vanover dropped a pass right in his claws that was a gimme-TD. Was that the Grim Reaper, standing over our beloved QB, ready to take him to his maker after the fourth sack? This was no dreamscape, Spartan fans. This was reality. Halftime: Rice 10, MSU 7.

Luckily, victory came gift-wrapped in the second half with a pair of fumbled punts deep in Rice territory. And, it was Heisman-esque Charles Rogers wearing the Superman cape, hauling in nine catches for over 150 yards and a pair of TDs.

But on the offensive line, there's no joy in Mudville. The Spartan OL looked like, well, they resembled mud but smelled worse. Giving up four sacks and delivering only 60 yards on the ground? Blame that one on the line, folks. They were not prepared, and thought it would be a gimme. Someone put some shinola on Ottney's head and tell him to get it screwed on straight or else State will get its clock cleaned when the Golden Bears come to town.

After two games, here's the ES lowdown:

Best surprise: Jaren Hayes. He's fast and shifty. He should be the starting tailback so far.

Biggest disappointment: Jeff Smoker. He looks average. The guy has gotta get with it. But the ES thinks he will.

Best player: Charles Rogers. Noone is even close.

Biggest bust: B.J. Lovett. No wonder he was in community college. He shoulda stayed there. He's terrible.

Going up: 1. Eric Knott - the guy will be another great TE, he can catch and run, but needs to learn how to block. 2. Jason Daily - he had some decent long punts for State against Rice, and the ES has never seen a guy pooch-kick inside the 20 better.

Going down: 1. The entire offensive line - if they can't block against Rice, wait 'til they get a load of Notre Dame. 2. The entire defensive line - only one sack so far this year… how long will the drought last?

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MSU & The Irish, Duke-Houston-Cal-Navy are 4-0?

(9/5/02)--By the time the 3rd Quarter rolled around and my buzz started to wear off, I figured the boys at Eastern would have been better off slugging a few brews at the tailgate with me. 56-7. A complete whitewashing. It was one of the more impressive performances that I've seen in years by Michigan State. Of course, it only was Eastern Michigan that the Spartans were playing - and not Notre Dame.

That being said, we'll clip some more wings off birds this weekend… this time, Owls' wings. I can see Michigan State having some difficulty early with the option game that Rice will show… but Rice doesn't have the brawn, nor the brain power, to push the Spartan train over. Watch another 100+ yards on the ground out of Moss, and another 100+ yards through the air to Rogers as the Spartans roll, 45-17, over Rice. And, at this rate, by the time we play Notre Dame, Rogers may already have his 1,000 yards receiving.

What's with the Irish?: Notre Dame…are they for real or just does Maryland suck. My guess it is a little of both. The Irish aren't as bad as everyone thought, but they aren't as good as many now think. Maryland and Notre Dame just switched uniforms, that's all. Now Touchdown Jesus is ranked in the bottom 20's and Maryland is on the outside looking in. It'll be a tough game, as expected, when Notre Dame faces Michigan State. But, the Irish first must get through Purdue and Michigan before they travel to East Lansing… Purdue-UM-MSU on the schedule? And they aren't in the Big 10? Just a matter of time, if you ask the ES.

Game of the week: Other than MSU-Rice, I'll take Miami at Florida. The odds-makers are actually placing the defending chumps, Miami, as a 3-pt dog to the Gators. Watch the Hurricane defense make new Gator coach Ron Zook zeem zilly as he watches his offense go in the tank. Miami should pull this one out easily in the fourth quarter.

Surprise of the year (so far): Duke, Navy, Cal and Houston are a combined 4-0. Last year, the teams were a combined 1-41. Duke beats East Carolina, 23-16, last week to snap a 23-game losing streak. The pundits were calling the Duke-Navy game the game of the year, with two winless programs trying to get over the hump. Navy, meanwhile whipped SMU, 38-7, to end their 10-game slide. California, at 1-10 last year, slapped Baylor around, 70-22. And, Houston, 0-11 a year ago, canned Rice 24-10. Has the world gone mad?

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On Target - chock picks State's chances for 2002.

CHock is a Spartan-fan extraordinaire living out in San Francisco. He left the warm confines of East Lansing tailgates for the foggy hills by the Bay. Here, Chock gloats about his correct pick of MSU as 6-5 last year... However, he's also the same guy who didn't have MSU basketball past the Sweet 16 in the the national title year of 2000.

(08/30/02)--The start of college football season has the potential to all but escape you here in San Francisco. The weather turns summer-like in the Fall, the tourists leave the area freeing up the back roads for weekend getaways up to wine country, and sports in California typically means mountain biking up in the Sierra's (we hit Downieville last weekend) or a mean stretch at the Bikram Yoga center up the street.

However, when I got my first email from the ES early in August, quickly followed by The Javer's phone call to praise the Gator's preseason rankings (here's news J-man - with Spurrier gone, the mood on campus is going to be as glum as the last time Mr. Bundy hit town) I knew it was that time to start steering the browser over the greenandwhite.com, detnews.com, freep.com, and, of course, our own enlightenedspartan.com for my daily feed.

And what does that mean to you dear reader? You got it - picks from chock that are so rock solid you can take them to Vegas. Before diving into this year's prognosis, let's recap chock's performance from last year (9/6/01--chock's MSU 2001 football forecast).

Chock's 2001 prediction: "The Spartans will finish the regular season
6-5."

Actual results: The Spartans finish the regular season 6-5!

BINGO!

Chock predicted: "I don't care which one of those bozo's with the "K" in the Position column next to their name in on the roster actually does the kicking, mark my words the fieldgoal kicking this year will be no better than that done at Utica-Eisenhower High School. Special teams will cost MSU at least one game this year."

Actual results: Said bozos missed five kicks (three FGs, two PATs) during the Northwestern game costing the team 11 points and the game!

CHA CHING!!!

So, with demonstrated prediction powers equal to that seen on those psychic hotline TV commercials, here's chock 2002 predictions...

The Spartans will finish the regular season 7-5 in 2002. They'll be middle of the pack in a Big Ten that will finish as follows: OSU, Ill, UM, PSU, Iowa, MSU, Wis, Pur, Minn, NW, Ind.

Why, oh swami is chock seeing the crystal ball like this? This would be the point in the typical sports article where we're supposed to throw out big names from each team and play the team-with-the-most-big-names-wins gig. However, you, dear reader, already know all the Smoker-Rogers angles like the ES's liver knows the bar, so we'll skip right over that and cut to the chase.

Chocks gift comes in understanding the Spartans brittle, but predictable, psyche. It's this mastery, accumulated after many years spent watching Spartan football while sedated with mucho alcoholic beverages, which leads to this year's predictions:

MSU wins the first four: vs. Eastern, vs. Rice, vs. California, and a sixth straight win over Notre Dame which brings a tear chock's eye. Four is the maximum win streak achievable by the Spartans, however, before they self-destruct. Another complete mental breakdown coupled with a smaller, faster Northwestern team that throws the same bullshit in MSU's face every year gives the Spartans their first loss.

The need for a bunch of losses midway through the season is buried deep in the football program's fiber and it will surface in 2002 with MSU losing the next two (at Iowa and vs. Minnesota).

The team musters some self respect and takes a W vs. Wisconsin, however, the invisible hand of Spartan football dictates that the team goes down to Ann Arbor and loses. You can't beat UM two years in a row, you know.

Standing at a very average 5-4, some good press scrutiny encourages the Spartans to go out and win the next two (at Indiana and vs. Purdue). However, a quick spanking at Penn State sends MSU home at 7-5 and a trip to Nashville, TN for a Music City Bowl engagement vs. Arkansas.

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It's a hunk-a hunk-a Burnin' Love

(08/21/02, KALAMAZOO)--

From: The King
To: Spartan fans

I'm a-gonna begin here by talkin' 'bout the Big Green Machine. See, the Spartans are the best team in the land, man. Sure, they haven't exactly been topping the charts like when I was swinging with pretty Ann Margaret, but you gotta dig that offense. State will score more points than the amount of rhinestones on my shiniest jumpsuit. Can't wait till they play Rice -- rice reminds me of my days over in Korea in the army, when all I saw were bowls of that white stuff... alls I say now is I'm glad I'm back in the states with my southern country fried chicken.

So why is The King writing about Michigan State and not about the SEC or the Volunteers from my home in Tennessee? Because I've always believed in jumping on the bandwagon as much as banana-and-peanut butter sandwiches and valium. When I see that lineup in East Lansing, I see success. It'll be a thing of beauty this year, and I'm not a-gonna be left on the outside. Matter of fact ya see, when the Spartans finish the season undefeated, I'm a-gonna get a Big Green cape with a white "S" designed on the back and unveil it on New Years Day. I'll jump in my big white Caddy, bring my goggles, my gold rings, my Jack & Cokes and my beautiful voice on the road trip to Tempe, Arizona to sing our nation's anthem at the National Championship game right along side the Spartan Fight Song. Then, I'll get a couple of those Spartanettes to ride along in that long sedan back to Vegas to dance topless in my show all night long. The chicks always hang around the King, ya know...

That's right, man. The Spartans, Jack Daniels, New Years Day, and yours truly--Elvis. Wouldn't miss that party for a bowl full of percodans. See ya in Tempe!

-- Love, The King

[ES note: The King is mistaken on the date of the BCS championship. It is the Fiesta Bowl in Tempe, AZ, but Jan. 3 and not Jan. 1.]

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2002: The Year of the Smoker

Here's the annual pre-season preview from the three-toed Sloth. The Sloth follows up to last year by proclaiming '02 as the Year of the Smoker... But, he's got the Spartoons at 7-5 in his annual preview... What gives? Read on... (oh, and click on the photo for full view)

(8/19/02)--Well, having spent the last two weekends getting blotto at the Barrel and then floating down the Chippewa River with a 5th of JD, I’m getting myself in game shape for the upcoming season. As you may recall, the Great Three-Toed Wonder preached the gospel last year: 2002 would be the Year of the Smoker. Even better, with Charles Rogers receiving (no pun intended) all the preseason hype, it could also be the Year of the BJ. As in Lovett. As in the double-entendre sweepstakes.

For the first time in recent memory, the Spartoons are actually getting some preseason propers. Most polls have them ranked somewhere in the teens, and Rogers is getting lots of press as the best receiver (some say player) in the country. This is, needless to say, virgin territory for Bobby W, who is still perfecting his gameday grimace. How will the Spartoons handle this new-found respect? Will they bust through the door to the promised land? Will Bobby W punt on 3rd down? Will he run a fake punt on 4th and 22? Will he run the pitch option from his own endzone? Will Mo Watts leave Rogers on the field on 3rd downs? Will the ES break down in tears in that fateful day in January? Will C actually make the flight from ‘Frisco to witness the best State season since he was an itch in Big J’s pants? How many news stories will we have to bear about the grass field and how many pallets of turf the Green goes through?

Here’s the scoop:

1. Offense: It goes without saying that the Big Green Mothers should have the best offense in the Big 11, and probably the Midwest. Rogers and Smoker. Plus Lovett and Kavanaght return, and Shabbaj is rumored to be a real sleeper. The Green is stacked at tight end, as usual, and Knott is back off his Carson City diet and is in condition. Dawan Moss, while not TJ, will consistently be good for 3.5 yards a carry out of the backfield, and Richard will have the chance to make a real impression as a frosh. Both are solid receivers out of the backfield, something that Mo Watts was able to utilize with TJ toward the end of last season, which helped tremendously and won State the UM game. And the offensive line returns, even if they were less than stellar in stretches last year. All told, there is no excuse for the Big Green not putting up mid-30’s in points against all but the best comp (e.g. Michigan).

2. Defense: Who knows? Thornhill is gone, but there’s plenty left to smile about. Rasmussen and Dukes will be solid. And who can wait to see Mike Labinjo’s belly as he pounces on another opposing QB? He was the real surprise last year, as he came out of nowhere to rally the Green D. Lorenzo Guess is gone, so maybe we’ll field a safety this year who can step up and make a solid Aric Morris hit, without giving up the deep pass and blowing the coverage. Not to mention the punt blocking. Henry is back, and Wright will be solid again. Our weakness, however, will be whatever side of the ball Broderick Nelson lines up on. Sure, he had 5 picks last year, but he also singlehandedly cost the Green the Penn State game. Anybody else remember pulling out whatever hair they had left as PSU lofted one lame goose after another in the general direction of Nelson? Nevertheless, the Big Green Mothers should be a top two or three D in the Big 11, which should be more than enough to go with the offense.

3. Special Teams: Who knows? Which redneck farmer kicker will replace Craig Jarrett? Which kid from Muskegon or Olivet will win the place kicking gig? Do you have a better chance at winning the Big Game Lotto than State has of successfully kicking a field goal from 25 yards? Who cares, who cares and probably. Once again, special teams will cost us at least one game, and probably one of the games State should win easily. My pick is Rice.

4. Coaching: Well, this one is no secret. Bobby W is a solid recruiter, which would make him one of the top 3 or 4 assistant coaches in the Big 11. Unfortunately, he’s not an assistant, and has not even come close to showing that he can coach on the big stage. Too many mental errors, too many penalties, too many bad decisions about who should be on the field and when. And I’m sure I’ll go deaf this fall with the ES screaming in my ear about Mo Watts every Saturday. Still, I suppose you have to give the Man some time and he’ll figure it out. Even if it means dealing with that pained grimace every time State turns the ball over or does something stupid. Still, call me an optimist, but I think this is going to be Bobby’s year.

The short of it? Well, I think 7-5 is the most likely result, based on the ‘Toons’ history and my own experiences with the Big Green. But, being the optimist I am, and after a deep and introspective analysis of the team, the year, my guest column from last year, the Chinese calendar and a quick phone call to my 800# psychic, I’ll stick with last year’s call: 2002 will be the Year of the Smoker, which means nothing short of contending for the National Championship. Sure, I know the reality is that it is damn near impossible to climb 20 spots in the polls over the course of the year, but this is Smoker and BJ’s year. That means nothing less than 12-0, with a BCS-day shot at the big kahuna. The whole ball of wax. The whole kit and kaboodle.

If State can get by Rice, who stands in Bobby W’s way? Meechigan? Fuggetaboudit. No QB, no WR’s and no running game. Who cares about their defense? State shredded it last year. Notre Dame? Maybe in another 10 years when they get their shit together, although not being in a football conference is going to continue to kill ND’s recruiting. Wisconsin? Maybe, but State’s got them at home this year, and Lee Evans will be out or barely back from surgery. PSU? No way – this is the year Jo Pa finally keels over on the sideline. The only other game the Spartans have to worry about is Iowa, on the road, especially if the Green is coming in 5-0 with a big head. Heh, heh, head, Smoker, BJ. Iowa will be much improved, even if the Hawkeyes will still suck miserably, and even if their mascot will still need to hit the carbs and the weight room and get some frickin’ meat on its wings.

What’s this mean? 12-0 baby! National Championship! Rogers wins the Heismann! Smoker goes pro as a top 3 pick! And Bobby W gets a call from Cleveland to coach in the NFL! Well, it could happen, anyway…

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